Dating and sex rules
Show them a video of your dog trying to climb a tree to get a squirrel. Casual sex is not the place to try things with which you don’t already have a baseline comfort level.
(I mean, you don’t get a say on what your partner wears when you’re dating, either). Just be cool, put in a moderate amount of effort, and have fun.Casual hookups can be militantly Sex-Only, or they can involve a drink or two at a nice bar with some Michelob Light-grade conversation. Now, this isn’t an invitation to be boring or taciturn, it’s just a plea for you to keep it easy-breezy. Or, more likely, one person gearing up to want more than casual sex.This is an occasion in which normally-lackluster topics like “Where did you grow up? Ask about movies, books, or music if you want, but don’t try to peacock about your Bitcoin investment or SAT scores. Invite someone over and tell them a little too much about red wine flavor profiles, which you learned from You Tube videos. Don’t suggest hangs that can be easily misconstrued as a date—sit-down meals, movies, museums, and the like. that no one outside of my family remembers, in which Linguini accuses Remy (the rat chef) of “getting fancy with the spices.” In familial parlance it’s become shorthand for going overboard out of desperation to do well.The amenities don’t need to be expensive or luxurious—you’re not opening a spa—but you definitely want your guests to feel comfortable. Casual sex, like a delicate mousse, is deceptively complex to get right, easily ruined by over-mixing, and—most importantly—best enjoyed when it’s light and fluffy.The point is, this isn’t the time nor the place for conversations about how you’re coping with your dad’s new girlfriend post your mom’s abrupt move to Barbados.
This is one of the biggest issues with dating and sex, with parents, psychologists, clergy and everyone else having an opinion.